Femme Spirit Blog

Breaking Down What It Means to "Release What No Longer Serves You". 

April 9, 2020

I’ve heard this phrase used A LOT in the online spiritual community, including by me. So I thought it would be useful to start breaking down some of these spiritual idioms into clear explanations and concrete steps to overcome any vagueness or dilution of their meaning, which would be a shame. So here it is:


First of all how do we know what no longer serves us?


Well this can be any thought, belief, pattern, habit, behavior, action or coping mechanism that does not align with our authenticity or does not “act in service” of our goals and highest potential.


Even though these things no longer contribute to our growth or happiness, at one time they did serve us as coping/ survival strategies to give us a sense of safety and protection or to allow us to have our needs met. Understanding this helps bring compassion to ourselves and the process of release.


For example if you were neglected by your caretakers as a child, you might have developed a habit of being very brash or argumentative. You may have discovered that using something small to start a fight enabled you to receive the attention you needed. However, this coping mechanism most likely would not be serving you in your current relationships.


Usually these thoughts, beliefs, patterns, etc. that no longer serve us (aka “blocks”) are rooted in our subconscious mind, which means we may not have full awareness of what they are yet. Doing inner work to build deeper self- awareness of ourselves and the personal traumas that impact our beliefs and behaviors can aid us in the process of release.


If you need help identifying what needs to be released you can start by setting the intention with the Universe. Ask to become aware of your blocks and how to release them. Then follow up wth aligned actions like attending counseling, working with a coach, or doing self-study and self-development work to gain insight.


So, when you’re ready to release what no longer serves you, how do you do it?


1. Prioritize self-care.

Remember that you used these coping mechanisms or subconsciously held on to these beliefs for a reason- they served your sense of safety and survival, so you want to make sure that when you release them you have something in place to help you feel safe, nourished and cared for. Start meeting your own needs through making self- care practices a sacred part of your daily life.


2. Set the intention.

You can do this by simply speaking what you intend to release to your Higher Power. Or you can get more creative and use a ritual, like writing down what you wish to release and then burning the paper as a symbolic act. You can also consider using moon magic to help you. The full moon is a good time to set intentions of release, because as the moon wanes from its fullness it can energetically help you release blocks and clear space in your life.


3. Surrender to the process.

This part is simple and yet it can feel difficult. As humans we seek a sense of certainty through control. However release requires surrender, so make sure that you feel connected and supported by spirit through prayer, meditation or whatever practices allow you to surrender and trust that the Universe always has your back!


4. Allow for grief.

Even when we are more than ready to let something go, it can still feel like a loss. The thoughts, beliefs, habits or mechanisms you adopted to cope most likely became a part of your identity at a conscious or subconscious level. Know that releasing attachments may cause sadness to come up. It is absolutely ok for you to grieve for what you are letting go of. Be gentle with yourself and allow for rest and recuperation.


5. Call in the new!

Now that you’ve released what hasn’t been serving you, you have room to call in anything new that you want to manifest. You can also simply embrace and celebrate being more in alignment with your authentic self. Practice living from that space of authenticity and witness the positive shifts in your life and relationships.


6. Give gratitude for the process of healing and Universal support! 


by Cheyenne Beardsley, creator of Femme Spirit Coaching